i like dirt. i like it. i like it. i like it.

this afternoon we were playing on the deck - gotta get outside even though its a million degrees - and i got a cute little video of porter scooping dirt from a pot into his dump truck... but now it wont let me upload it because its like 3 seconds too long or something. boo blogger. boo. at the end of the video i ask him if he likes dirt and he just says 'i like dirt. i like it. i like it. i like it.' i think that about sums the boy up.

and here is mary mae proving to us that we always hold on too long to certain phases. i think its time to pack up the snuggle nest. don't worry, she was still breathing. last night was her first night in her crib... that's because she wouldnt go to sleep until 230am, so i laid with her in the guest bed (in her room) until i was finally able to take her to her crib. wowzah. coffee never tasted so good.



is summer over yet?

8 weeks!

mary mae at 8 weeks... looking an awful lot like her brother . that post was when he was 3 months... so a little older, but i really think their faces look so much alike. she's much girlier, of course. shes a champ- just being carted around here and there following her brother to the park in the 105 degree heat and never being bothered. as long as she's in the sling, she's happy... so she lives in the sling.

pummus!

no idea why he pronounces his 'h' with a 'p'... but this kid loves hummus! we make it a lot, but today we made it a little different with some roasted red peppers. loved it. if you don't have a magic bullet, you need one. (thanks, rhoda!)



also, here is a link to some adorable pics of porter and one of his lady friends, sarah. she has been a doll to play with lately!

life is good.

Success!!

All this getting out and about might be catching up with him - yesterday he took almost a FOUR HOUR nap. That's right. He slept from 1:30-5:15. I finally walked in and turned off his noise maker and that is what woke him up. I hope we are getting over this sleeping hump and he is realizing that this is a napping house. Momma doesn't nap, but all children in this house must nap, so momma can do all the things she wants to do sans children.

Thank you.

(naps are also good for development, yes... that is also why we take them.)

Here are 2 cell phone pics from today. Mary Mae hangin out while brother runs all about the 'my gym' and brother bear holding his ears while she screamed in the car on the way home fighting her nap. (Do we see a pattern here?) She finally gave in...





This picture makes me laugh so hard though - If that child only knew how terrible he was in the car for the 18 months of his life he would not be holding his ears looking at her - he would be grovelling at my feet, apologizing for doing the same thing for almost two years.

Motherhood. Its awesome.

update

He did take a nap yesterday - from 330-5. Not what I would call ideal, but Ill take it. Last night he asked to go to sleep in his big boy bed - and then cried at 9:00 (well over an hour after we put him down). I went to check on him and he was in the pack n play with all his things except one (the reason he was crying) He needed me to get it for him.... and he went back to snoozing.

Let me be clear - this means he put himself in the pack n play... and gathered all his things to make his little nest. Amazing.

Today we went to a party at a splash park and played hard - He is sleeping like an angel right now.

I know no one cares about these details, but I think someday I will want to remember how hilarious this time was. Fighting the sleep in the pack n play so much that we take our clothes off one day and throw everything we know and love as far away as possible... and not 3 hours later, get out of bed, put everything we know and love into the pack n play and climb in to sleep all night long. Two year olds are the most interesting humans.

Here is a cell phone pic from the party today. Fun in the sun!

complete refusal.

So, this is a true story from the front lines. Porter has always loved his naps. He has hardly cried for them - and once he's down he's usually out for quite a while. Well, he has recently started an all out protest of them. Is this normal? My goal this week was to get us out and about everyday before 10 - do something fun and tiring - and be back by nap time. Well, this seems to be backfiring. He has completely refused his hap. I have heard people say that before and thought, refused? Who refuses a nap? You leave them in there long enough and they go to sleep.

Well...

Monday, I walked him back and disciplined him again and again for an hour and half, until finally I realized we was going to keep getting up no matter what. What did I do? I set up the pack n play and put him in it - much like a cage, I suppose. He cried for 30 minutes and fell asleep.

Since that day, he has waned his pack n play more than his 'big boy bed' for each sleep. He still fights it, doesn't want to go, cries a while - but eventually gives in.

Today is another story.

Today, it is 3:23. He is still not asleep. I put him in his pack n play at 1:15 where he seemed to settle in without too much fuss. Then I heard banging (feet perhaps? I really need a video monitor) and he started to amp up to a yell. I went in a few different times with reasoning strategies. This is why we nap - you have to get strong - are your teeth hurting? - you need some tylenol? We rocked, we sang, we snuggled, we tucked in. Each time I left he would scream but I thought we were getting closer.

10 minutes ago, I walked in and what I saw astounded me. Porter had folded up the pad that goes in the bottom of the pack n play (the only thing that gives it a floor and keeps you from standing on a flimsy sheet of canvas). He had removed the sheet and thrown it. All of his bedtime cuddly things were thrown about (there are quite a few these days). Blanket was half way across the room. Monkey, beloved monkey, was no where to be seen. Here's the real kicker - his clothes were off. Shirt on one side of the room, shorts on the other. And diaper dangling by one tiny hook of velcro. His man parts were slightly exposed and he was shouting 'My diaper is off!!!!' (like he was surprised). I wish I had taken a picture, but I didn't want to make him think it was funny... I calmly re dressed him, gave him a fresh diaper, got the pack n play all fresh and ready with all his comforts, rocked him, and put his sorry butt back in there.

Am I crazy?

My child is disrobing himself and starting to destroy things, but I REALLY don't want to give in and let him know that that behavior means no nap. This might be one of those moments where most moms would be like, well, I guess he doesn't want to nap today... I am not there yet.

I just wanted to document this. Still standing strong at 3:30 - about to go see if he's fallen asleep. Updates to come.

the challenge

here's the truth about these last few weeks... mary mae has been a dream. porter has been ROUGH. i love him no different, but i suppose it needs to be documented that he is having a tough time loving this new addition to our family.

when she is snoozing, or swinging he loves her.

when she is nursing, or being burped, or being swaddled or rocked... he HATES her. and me.

we are working on it. trying different approaches, but still trying to find some consistency.

this has been our biggest challenge - willing and ready to hear all mom's ideas.

here she is.

miss mary mae ryan






remind anyone of anything? like brother, like sister.



that might be my favorite picture ive ever taken. he was just gazing in at her... a brief moment of him not wanting to hit her head with a hammer - he asks me at least a couple times a day if he can bang baby sister on the head with his hammer, wrench, blocks, books... you name it.

and here he is. this is what we do while she sleeps.

















finding our new normal...

Fathers Day hiking

i took the little guy to the greenbelt to go hiking on fathers fay. needless to say the boy was totally overwhelmed by the number of rocks and sticks. literally millions. he loved it so much i took him again this morning. he is great at walking in and down the trail, getting back to the car is another story. carrying 30 lbs on your shoulders for a mile or so is the best. kid loves hiking.

Mary Mae Ryan

June 1, 10:28 am. 9 lbs. 20 1/4 inches.

She's here. She's actually been here for almost 2 weeks. Somehow the time is already going by so fast and I'm just wanting so badly to slow it all down. How is Porter already 2? Didn't I just find out I was pregnant with him? Or did I just find out I was pregnant with her? Or, wait, did I just actually have a second child? I'm not old enough for this. That is my thought every time I look at my life. I am just not old enough for this. Somehow I feel way too immature and not nearly responsible enough to be in charge of other lives.

Then I stop and re think it and CAN NOT believe I have been given such a gift. Thank you, Lord, for the chance to be a mom. I do not take this challenge lightly. I promise to give them all I have.

So much has changed for me in the last months. I resigned from teaching - I gave it 5 good years and my heart was never there. I wasn't sure where my heart was... but it wasn't in teaching. Every day that I went to work, I wanted to be somewhere else. That is no way to live - and that isn't fair to the kids. We are taking a HUGE leap of faith and I will be staying home next year. I will be a full time mom and small business owner - trying to let Sweet Louise go where it will and let my heart settle into really loving my kids well. I felt like the last 2 years has been a battle of trying to do everything sort of well... and nothing to my fullest. I am praying that this is the beginning of being able to give fully to the things I love - my husband, my kids, my home, my business. I want to stop feeling like I am doing everything half way. Jack of all trades, master of none. I am so overwhelmed when I let myself think about next year - I am so thankful and also so fearful. It will be wonderful, right? I know it will.

I haven't really had a chance to take pictures yet of Mary Mae. She has been a perfect baby so far. Eating and sleeping well - the only things that parents worry about in the early days. I plan to take some pictures soon - but so far, while she is sleeping I am trying to soak up some time with my boy. He has certainly had a hard time with this transition - he loves his momma. It breaks my heart to see him sad or confused when I'm feeding her. He just says over and over 'Hold you. Hold you.' I know its a normal part of life, but man I really want him to feel loved through this process and never pushed out.

Here is my man. Porter, don't worry, you still have my heart... too.

Excited about what is to come.

he's TWO!

i know everyone says it, but i can't believe he turned 2 on april 29th. i can't believe its been 2 years since that insane week long stay in the hospital. what an amazing couple of years this has been.

we had a little celebration at his school with muffins (they have a no frosted cupcake rule... weird i know... have a little fun people.) but he loved his muffins and having his friends sing him a song and having me stop in at an unexpected time during the day. he didn't love wearing the crown they tried to put on him... but i at least got one picture. i can't believe im at the point in life where i get to bring my child cupcakes - or muffins - to celebrate his birthday. im not sure why that was a big deal to me, but for some reason as i was on my way over there i really felt like a mom. its a wonderful feeling.








yep, really pregnant. 35 weeks.

on saturday we had a little party at central market. really, we just can't believe how fast the time has flown and that we are about to start this over again, with a new family member. some favorite gifts were the wooden train from jen and russell, the chair and broom from bebe and ace, and the drum from aunt meg and uncle chris. thanks guys! there were so many fun toys shared - and we can't wait to partake in the swim lessons from honey and papaw. we are constantly amazed at the community that surrounds us and how much support we feel as we are building our family. thank you all so much! enjoy the pics... its been way too long.

















































we love you more than you'll ever know, p.