Mary Mae Ryan

June 1, 10:28 am. 9 lbs. 20 1/4 inches.

She's here. She's actually been here for almost 2 weeks. Somehow the time is already going by so fast and I'm just wanting so badly to slow it all down. How is Porter already 2? Didn't I just find out I was pregnant with him? Or did I just find out I was pregnant with her? Or, wait, did I just actually have a second child? I'm not old enough for this. That is my thought every time I look at my life. I am just not old enough for this. Somehow I feel way too immature and not nearly responsible enough to be in charge of other lives.

Then I stop and re think it and CAN NOT believe I have been given such a gift. Thank you, Lord, for the chance to be a mom. I do not take this challenge lightly. I promise to give them all I have.

So much has changed for me in the last months. I resigned from teaching - I gave it 5 good years and my heart was never there. I wasn't sure where my heart was... but it wasn't in teaching. Every day that I went to work, I wanted to be somewhere else. That is no way to live - and that isn't fair to the kids. We are taking a HUGE leap of faith and I will be staying home next year. I will be a full time mom and small business owner - trying to let Sweet Louise go where it will and let my heart settle into really loving my kids well. I felt like the last 2 years has been a battle of trying to do everything sort of well... and nothing to my fullest. I am praying that this is the beginning of being able to give fully to the things I love - my husband, my kids, my home, my business. I want to stop feeling like I am doing everything half way. Jack of all trades, master of none. I am so overwhelmed when I let myself think about next year - I am so thankful and also so fearful. It will be wonderful, right? I know it will.

I haven't really had a chance to take pictures yet of Mary Mae. She has been a perfect baby so far. Eating and sleeping well - the only things that parents worry about in the early days. I plan to take some pictures soon - but so far, while she is sleeping I am trying to soak up some time with my boy. He has certainly had a hard time with this transition - he loves his momma. It breaks my heart to see him sad or confused when I'm feeding her. He just says over and over 'Hold you. Hold you.' I know its a normal part of life, but man I really want him to feel loved through this process and never pushed out.

Here is my man. Porter, don't worry, you still have my heart... too.

Excited about what is to come.

he's TWO!

i know everyone says it, but i can't believe he turned 2 on april 29th. i can't believe its been 2 years since that insane week long stay in the hospital. what an amazing couple of years this has been.

we had a little celebration at his school with muffins (they have a no frosted cupcake rule... weird i know... have a little fun people.) but he loved his muffins and having his friends sing him a song and having me stop in at an unexpected time during the day. he didn't love wearing the crown they tried to put on him... but i at least got one picture. i can't believe im at the point in life where i get to bring my child cupcakes - or muffins - to celebrate his birthday. im not sure why that was a big deal to me, but for some reason as i was on my way over there i really felt like a mom. its a wonderful feeling.








yep, really pregnant. 35 weeks.

on saturday we had a little party at central market. really, we just can't believe how fast the time has flown and that we are about to start this over again, with a new family member. some favorite gifts were the wooden train from jen and russell, the chair and broom from bebe and ace, and the drum from aunt meg and uncle chris. thanks guys! there were so many fun toys shared - and we can't wait to partake in the swim lessons from honey and papaw. we are constantly amazed at the community that surrounds us and how much support we feel as we are building our family. thank you all so much! enjoy the pics... its been way too long.

















































we love you more than you'll ever know, p.

March/April Catch Ups

We have had a significant number of fun afternoons without an pics to prove it, so here we go. please note the change of sweaters to playing in water fountains all occurred in about 6 weeks, thanks for nothing spring.



turns out the triangle has a water fountain



this guy loves drinking it like a fire hose, gross



on the deck smashing sticks and coloring with chalk, his favorite color is yellow and sometimes every color is actually yellow



off roading with pops



i can climb now. hopefully no 127 hours events are in my future.



my mom.



i love swinging with all of my being.



seriously i love it so much



dont embarrass me mom, there are girls over there.



mmm, phils burgers



very handsome.

Smoothie!

The owner of Porter's little school just emailed me this picture and the title was '3rd serving of smoothie!'... guess he likes them! YUM.

the chicken wing... porter's favorite move

lots of grainy cell phone pics

if i can't bring myself to take real photos of my son and talk about what we are doing - i can at least post random cell phone pics so you can all remember how cute he is.

really.

a quick recap: zach is now working 3-4 days a week in houston, while im single mommin' it. seriously - single moms - so much respect. i am so proud of zach an his efforts at work and how he has been noticed for his brainz and skillz... i just want him back in austin :). we both miss him lots. our house is on the market for the second time. the first time it was only on the market for 24 hours, had 2 showing and got 2 offers over asking price... then one bailed, we called the other back, they were in, then they bailed last night 5 hours before their option period ended. so we are back on the market. that was fun! we are busy busy busy and porter is so close to being 2. baby sister still has no name... although we might be getting closer. springtime weather is upon us and feels so great... i love spring. its my favorite.

say cheese